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Save The Date
Written by: Jacquelyn B. Fletcher
 You’ve chosen the date. The guest list is set. Now it’s time to find the most inviting way to let your guests know when to mark their calendars for your big event. Whether you’re inviting 30 people or 300, it’s the invitation that sets the scene for your day. Its style lets people know whether your wedding is formal or casual, in town or in the Bahamas. And, if it’s done right, it can generate anticipation and let guests know: This is a wedding that is not to be missed.
Eye of the Beholder
From the moment guests open your invitation, they should get a feel for the kind of event you’re planning. “To begin creating your invitations, start by looking at the big picture,” says designer Mali Chi of Tomball, Texas-based Paper & Peonies. “Decide on a unifying theme for your wedding. Your invitations are just one facet of this special day, but the very first thing your guests will see. Give them a glimpse of the joyous occasion to come.”
This is where things get personal. Your wedding invitation should reflect your personality as a couple as well as the tone of the event. “I love the passion that every single couple brings. They’re excited, and we try to put that into the invite,” says Sarah Prye of Handcrafted by Sarah Prye, a Danielsville, Pennsylvania-based designer of custom invitations who works with couples across the country. To help narrow down the multitude of options, consider the color palette, the location and the flowers you’ve chosen.
Your budget also will be a determining factor in your invitation selection. Invitations can run anywhere from $1 to $50 per piece depending on the materials, the postage, and on whether you hire a custom designer.
To give invitations a beautiful, hand-crafted feel, many brides decide to hire a calligrapher. If calligraphy is a look you want, you’ll have to budget an extra $2 to $10 per piece depending on the calligrapher’s experience and artistry.
Make sure to ask if the calligrapher also will seal and stamp your invites if you want to delegate this often time-consuming task. And find out how much lead time your calligrapher requires to complete your project. Sometimes you can get your envelopes early from your printer or designer and have the calligrapher get a head start on these before the rest of the packet is finished.
As with wedding gown fashions, there are trends in the look and feel of invitations that vary with the times, but the classics always remain for those who have an affection for tradition.
Is your event black-tie? Then perhaps a more formal invitation is the right fit for you. Choose a heavy-stock cotton or linen paper in white or ecru and include a small square of tissue to protect the ink. For something more dramatic, follow one of the hottest current trends and send a lovely satin-lined box invitation containing 3-D elements such as flowers, seashells or small gifts.
“Boxes let us do all kinds of things we can’t do with envelopes,” says Prye. “We can use moss, pinecones and very fluffy ribbons. If you had an envelope, everything would get flattened and frayed. With boxes, the invitations arrive the same way they left the studio. When guests receive the box, it’s like they’re opening a gift.”
Choosing reused or recycled materials helps reduce the impact your invites have on the environment. Designer Kristen Adcock of Houston’s Invitation Solutions says more of her customers are interested in creating a “green” wedding invitation. “We’re seeing more eco-friendly brides and the use of earth tones — a lot of greens and blues.”
Some brides and grooms prefer a more Victorian look, some go for modern patterns and others prefer pretty embellishments. “Ornate patterning that has a tapestry feel is popular,” says Adcock. “We’re also seeing more geometric patterning as well as stripes that give invitations a more modern feel. Another trend we are seeing is the use of wider bands of ribbons gathered with Swarovski crystals to create a sophisticated look for today’s bride.”
Prye also uses fun embellishments on her custom invites. “People like using wax seals. We use traditional ones when we create the invites. They’re not the glue-on type. They look authentic and don’t fall apart.”
A popular option for couples hosting a destination wedding in another country is an invite designed to look like a passport. “They look authentic, but personalized,” says Prye of her designs. “The invitations are laminated and they have the photos inside.”
Keeping up on trends is smart, but don’t feel you have to go with the latest fad. “Most importantly, personalize your invitations,” says Chi. “Whether by using a simple monogram, a favorite flower, pattern or other symbolic graphic, it’s important to express who you are and what the day represents, and allow your personality to shine through.”
Love Speaks
The official job of the invitation is to let your guests know the who, when and where for your wedding. Easy, right? But the wording on the invitation can be an emotional minefield for couples and their families. Traditionally, the bride’s parents were listed as the hosts because they paid for the wedding. But with so many variations in today’s family structures and with more couples paying for their own weddings, couples have come up with new ways of wording invites so they can include everyone they need to. It might be that the groom’s parents divorced and they both remarried. If either or both of the remarried couples are helping to pay for the event, they should be included on the invite.
If there are several remarriages in the family or you think you might risk offending someone if you include a new stepparent, you can simply invite guests on behalf of yourself and your spouse-to-be, and thank all of the parents in a separate part of the invitation or in the wedding program. Openly communicate with your family members about your decisions so they aren’t surprised when they receive the invitation in the mail, and you’ll navigate family politics with greater ease.
If you’re planning a destination wedding, remember that your invitation doesn’t have to include the entire weekend’s itinerary down to the minute. “Sometimes couples include too much information,” says Prye. “You can definitely overload guests, especially with the destination weddings. There is a happy medium with how much you tell them and how much you let them do on their own. You can overload them instead of getting them excited. You don’t want to leave them hanging or guessing. If you are including the directions and accommodations, be very organized so you don’t have 15 pieces of paper.”
With Love
Give yourself plenty of time to create your invitations, address them and get them in the mail, so your guests have plenty of time to make arrangements. These useful tips will help you track your invitation-planning schedule:
• Decide how many people you want to invite to the wedding. Keep in mind that this is your day and if you want to invite only a handful of your nearest and dearest, then that’s what you should do. If you’d rather have a big bash, you’ll need to know the capacity of your venue, and have your budget numbers handy.
• Order your invitations four months ahead. If you’re planning a destination wedding in a place that requires flight and hotel travel arrangements, order them six months ahead, and give your guests more time to plan by sending a save-the-date card up to a year in advance.
• Send your invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. For destination weddings, send them out three months before the wedding.
• Plan to have responses back within enough time to give your caterer a final count. Usually caterers ask for a final count about two weeks before the event.
• Visit the post office with a complete invitation package well in advance of your mailing in order to find out the postage required. This way, you won’t lose precious time by having all of your invitations returned to you due to insufficient postage.
• Order extras in case you or your calligrapher makes mistakes when addressing envelopes. A good rule of thumb is to order 25 percent more than the actual number of people you’re inviting.
• Save a full set for your keepsake album. You also might ask close family members, including your mom and the mother of your spouse-to-be, if they would like you to save them each a fresh invitation ensemble so they can have them for their memory books.
Wedding planning is stressful and that’s why many couples choose to check off the task of invitations early. Not only does doing so lift the burden of at least one major wedding-planning duty, but it also lets you get into the spirit of your special day.
“Be yourself and let that come through in your invitations,” Prye advises. “These are your invitations for your event and that’s exactly the feel that your recipients should have when they open them. Follow tradition to an extent, but have fun with these. Put your own personality throughout the ensemble and you’ll have the most memorable keepsake you can imagine.”
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