Traditionalists take heed: While others may go ga-ga for thoroughly modern meal options like the interactive station arrangement or the all-hors d’oeuvre mingle-fest, there’s only one proper wedding reception choice for you: the impeccably served, perfectly plated, formal wedding dinner. Regal in its presentation, exquisite in its ingredients, the formal wedding dinner may be rich in tradition—and even rich in flavor—but that doesn’t mean it has to be stuffy.

You’ve probably been to a wedding dinner where you sat at a beautifully laid table, interacting with other guests as you awaited the arrival of each course, carried out and set down by impeccably attired service staff. Once your plate arrived, you no doubt considered it appreciatively before digging in, and perhaps even chatted with your table-mates about the artistic arrangement of the asparagus spears, or the heady aroma of the demi-glace. When a sit-down dinner menu is well planned and expertly executed, and seating arrangements carefully considered, the formal dinner reception creates the perfect comingling of ritual, conviviality and the element of surprise.

So how does one go about planning such a fine formal fete? And what special considerations should be kept in mind?

The main difference between a sit-down dinner and a station-served or buffet meal is the element of service. A station dinner typically requires one or two service staff per station, depending on the size of the station and food featured. Some stations—a fresh fruit display or raw bar for instance—often don’t require service staff at all. A sit-down dinner, on the other hand, generally requires at least one service staff per every two tables, in order to ensure “more service encounters,” explains Lisa Hopkins, director of catering for The Houstonian Hotel, so that “guests feel more taken care of.” Adequately staffed tables don’t just make for faster and more fluid setting down and clearing of plates—critical for ensuring that food is enjoyed at its optimum temperature by all diners simultaneously—but “can make a guest feel a bit more like a VIP,” Hopkins adds.

At Lake Las Vegas Resort in Las Vegas, where sit-down dinners account for more than half of all wedding receptions, “The type of dinner service and number of servers depends on the selected menu,” notes director of catering Kathy Baldieri. “Generally, it’s American service, with one wait staff per each 15 guests.” For a seven-course menu—the choice of wedding clients with ample budgets—the requirement is two wait staff per 20 guests, “to ensure that the guests are properly attended,” Baldieri says. She further notes, “Our staff’s attire is formal black and white, adding to the elegance and making them easily distinguishable to the guests.”

At Houston’s St. Regis Hotel, “White-glove service, with wait staff dressed in classic black jackets and white shirts with bowties, is symbolically at the heart of the hotel’s image,” notes director of catering Tobias Rimkus. If this level of formality is important to you, make sure to inquire of your caterer about the number and appearance of table staff. You may also want to ask what different service options are available. Although plated service—where waiters carry out individual plates—is the standard at most upscale hotels and wedding venues, a bit of variety can be introduced for added interest and excitement. Consider, for instance, French service—where waiters prepare and plate food tableside—for a Caesar salad course. This being the Southwest, tableside preparation also works wonderfully for a gourmet guacamole. Whatever menu item is being concocted tableside, guests undoubtedly will appreciate the element of theater involved in its preparation. And speaking of menus… The formal sit-down dinner offers the wedding couple an opportunity to be highly selective about food choices and presentation, and to work with their caterer in crafting a memorable sequence of courses, often with wine pairings for each course.

At Houston’s Hotel Derek, where, like at The Houstonian, sit-down dinners make up 40 percent of wedding receptions, dinner menus tend to be contemporary, hip and sophisticated, much in line with the boutique hotel’s overall vibe. A typical menu may feature garlic sea bass with red pepper cream sauce and New York strip steak with smoked tomato demi-glace, or fennel-dusted rack of lamb and cilantro-crusted sea bass. Either option would likely be served by one waiter assigned to every two tables.

At The Houstonian, where tradition reigns supreme, Hopkins notes that, “An offering of a perfectly cooked and seasoned filet of beef with a potato au gratin or garlic mashed potato and a seasonal colorful vegetable duo is still and will always be a winner, because it is a classic.”

The sumptuous seven-course extravaganza mentioned by Lake Las Vegas Resort’s Baldieri might go something like this: three appetizer courses including tuna tartare and seared diver scallop, a soup course of wild mushroom consommé, a champagne sorbet intermezzo, entrees of roasted squab and roasted lamb, and a delectable dessert trio. For one wedding couple who selected the offering, seven courses “provided an opportunity for the bride and groom’s guests to dance between courses, giving the evening the ambiance of an elegant dinner club,” Baldieri notes.

Just because you favor a formal seated dinner doesn’t mean you have to stick strictly to the program.

While The Houstonian may be a bastion of tradition, it will gladly indulge seated guests in inventive presentations, “such as salad dressing served in a shot glass, or using a small plate on the entrée to feature a potato or a fun macaroni and cheese accompaniment,” Hopkins says.

At the St. Regis, notes Rimkus, “The passing of miniature desserts, miniature ice cream cones and espressos during dancing lets guests know that concern for their pleasure and comfort has not ended just because dinner is over.” Clients who select a formal dinner for their reception at the St. Regis might also be interested in a less formal “after-party,” featuring “miniature nostalgia foods, such as miniature hamburgers, miniature egg sandwiches or cookies and milk,” Rimkus adds. “It brings a nice ending for guests preparing to depart, or a fun break for guests who plan to continue the party until a later hour.”

Dessert stations, elegant candy tables and signature-cocktail bars also work well as let-your-hair-down additions at buttoned-up dinner receptions. The key is keeping the presentation of any station or bar in line with the overall elegance of your event.

If you intend to plan a formal wedding dinner, you will want to consider the size of your event. The additional service staff and extra work on the part of kitchen staff in plating and presenting the multiple courses typically featured at a sit-down wedding dinner do come at a price. The cost of high-end table linen, charger plates, fine china, crystal and extras such as menu cards also can swell a sit-down dinner budget.

At the Hotel Derek, for instance, “A formal plated service would be more expensive than a station buffet menu,” notes Miller. “Most clients are looking to pay $20 to $30 additional for a formal plated service menu versus the station menu.” If you have the budget, she adds, “A seated dinner is a great option regardless of the number of guests.”

On the other hand, states Baldieri, “With stations or buffet dinners, more food is prepared to maintain the appearance, and more food is consumed, increasing the food cost. With a plated menu, the food is portion controlled. So a client on a budget can definitely have a plated dinner.”

For her part, The Houstonian’s Hopkins asserts, “A smaller wedding lends itself to a seated dinner because guests are able to interact more at the table.” She adds, “In most cases, the room is smaller, and lends itself to a more intimate occasion.” Large or small, lavish or modest, “Whenever the aim is to create a special experience of magic, elegance and formality,” Rimkus says, “the seated dinner allows everyone to be treated as the special guests the wedding couple has made them by including them at the celebration.”